Welcome back to our conversation with Steve Gurney, founder of Positive Aging Sourcebook and a passionate advocate for senior living. In part 1, Steve highlighted the importance of maintaining a growth mindset at any stage of life, comparing the move to senior living with the experience of starting college – an opportunity to connect, learn, and thrive in a new environment. He also discussed the benefits of senior living, such as combating loneliness, staying socially engaged, and finding a supportive community that feels like family.
In the second part of our conversation with Steve, we dive deeper into his insights and practical tips for seniors transitioning to a senior living community. Let’s explore how to make the most of this exciting new chapter.
Advice For Seniors Moving To a Senior Living Community
Steve’s advice for seniors moving to a senior living community is the same advice he would give to a college student. “The difference between an 18-year-old and somebody who’s lived a more fulfilled life is that, in general, we know who we are. And if socializing and going to every party every day that the campus is supporting is not what gives you purpose, then don’t do that. But take full advantage of the opportunities to make this a growth opportunity. No matter what chapter in life we are, we need to keep on growing. And so take full advantage of it.”
I’ve interviewed so many people who have made these moves and said the same thing. I thought I wanted to age in place. I thought that my home was the best place to grow old, and I wanted to stay here forever. But now that I’m on this campus, I realize how lonely and isolated I was. Is that how I didn’t have interesting people and engaged activities and people who care about me that are right next door? And so hopefully those are some tips that can help folks think about thriving more.”
What Are the Main Benefits of Living in a Senior Living Community?
“Aging in place is something that we’ve heard in all the reports, and most people would prefer to stay in the home that they’re living in as they grow older and navigate the chapters of their life. However, especially if you live in a car-dependent neighborhood where you have to get in your car to go connect with other people or the things that give you joy and purpose in life that our homes can sometimes be isolating and lonely.” And then there are also maintenance and accessibility issues in many of the homes that we live in.
The other topic I’d like to throw out here at this point is solo aging. A senior living community is especially well-suited for individuals who identify as solo agers – those who may have outlived many of their family members, lost a partner, or have children who live far away. And just by moving into a senior living community, you now have family and friends and support right there in your new neighborhood,” Steve said.
How Can Communities Support Seniors To Be Active and Socially Engaged?
Steve said that one way communities can support this is by truly understanding their residents’ skill sets and interests. “Realize that bringing somebody in to do a class on flower arranging may not be necessary because you actually have one of the preeminent flower arrangement experts living right there in your community. That’s where I’ve seen some just amazing experiences, where the residents are the ones that are sharing their knowledge and their resources and their ideas with the other residents of the community.”
He continued, “And again, going back to comparing and contrasting the college experience. Yes, on a college campus, there’s lots of knowledge being gained from the professors, but I would say that the real knowledge being shared is amongst the students. It’s them sharing their thoughts on a specific topic together. It’s helping each other learn and navigate the chapters of life.”
The Role of Events and Expert Speakers for Seniors and Their Families
When seniors and their families learn about senior living, they will likely have many questions, and they need someone to provide the answers clearly and concisely. But they may not know the wealth of resources that can help them on that journey.
Steve explained, “I think one of the things that I find is that when families are thrown into this world of elder care, which is usually brought on by a healthcare change, a loss, seeing something happen to another loved one, family member, neighbor, that makes you realize that, okay, I might need to plan and prepare for the future. One of the things that I find is that when folks cross my path is that they often sort of feel like this is a decision that they’ve got to make all on their own. And they’re surprised when I start sharing with them how many experts and how many nonprofits, government agencies, advisors that are out there that can help them provide a different perspective and guidance in a variety of areas.”
He continued, “And many of these don’t cost any money at all. I think when you see an interesting free seminar or lecture on a specific topic at a community, it’s a great thing to go to because you’re going to walk away there with a couple of different ideas, maybe a couple of different resources, an opportunity to ask specific questions, and then you can continue navigating what can be a complicated and confusing world of elder care and senior living.”
Tips for Families Helping Their Loved Ones Transition to Senior Living
Steve’s first tip revolves around removing the stigma of senior living. “The stigma of saying, ‘Mom, it is time to look for senior living.’ The stigma of moving to a community that says ‘Senior Living’ on it, even if mom thinks it’s a good idea, it’s like we got to remember that mom’s living in a neighborhood with black, white, young, old, gay, straight, married, divorced, and now we’re saying, ‘Okay, mom, you’re going to move to this segregated living environment and addressing that stigma in that this is a segregated environment that is going to enable you to thrive.’
And then sort of saying to mom, it’s like, look, it’s like a college. In colleges, there are mostly people between 18 and 28 who walk around that campus. This is very similar to college, except that the people who live here have robust life experiences.”
His next tip is about finding a community where the senior feels like they can be a part of the community. “I think it’s very important for those that may have had kids. We don’t just drop our kids off at school. We get to know their teachers. We join the PTA, we become a part of that school community. And that’s what I would challenge everybody to think about if they have a loved one that might need senior living, is try to visit on a regular basis, get to know the team members that are there, get to know the other residents, get to know the staff, or get to know the other families, and then volunteer as much as you possibly can.
Just imagine if everybody who lived in a community had one or two family members or friends or neighbors who volunteered a couple of hours a month to help the community thrive. Just imagine how wonderful that would be. And the communities that have oftentimes impressed me the most are the ones where I walk in. And there’s a lot of folks that, whether they be family or outside organizations playing a role in sharing resources and connecting. And the other thing is that there’s just so much wisdom in these communities. These are great places to visit and learn about individual history and our country and our world’s history from the residents because they’ve lived such long, fulfilling lives.”
Addressing The Evolution of the Senior Living Industry and Its Future
“Well, I’ve been doing this for 35 years, and I’ve obviously seen sort of changes in the physical buildings and the design – just like all multifamily buildings. You look at apartment buildings, and they’ve evolved over the last three decades as well. But I think the real magic has been in the training of the staff, especially in the areas of caring for loved ones with dementia,” he said.
He also discussed solo aging. “A few of the trends I’d mentioned, one of them was solo aging, is that I think that anybody, that we all could be solo agers if we live a long full life and all of us having a solo aging plan and all of us thinking in advance to, okay, I might not be interested in moving to a community now, but here are some of the triggers that would make this very appropriate. If I develop mild cognitive impairment, this is something that I want to make sure is on my radar, and I want my loved ones to know that it’s okay to help me make a move if I start experiencing cognitive changes. Or it could be a physical disability, or it could be that I don’t want to drive anymore.”
Discover More at Charter Senior Living
Attending Charter Senior Living events with distinguished speakers like Steve Gurney provides invaluable insights into senior living, helping seniors and their families make informed decisions.
Steve said, “I am really excited to be involved with Charter Senior Living and their team members and providing programming to the families that live in these wonderful communities and those that are of interest.”
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